If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize