Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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