Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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