Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Enjoy the penises
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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