There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
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Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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