If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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