fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
