its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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