At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
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I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
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well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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