fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
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complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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