Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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