try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
