brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos