i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean